Working Single Parents Balancing Life during COVID-19 Pandemic
In the Modern World, most men and women are growingly deciding to be single parents. As per the UN Women (or United Nations Women) report — Progress of The World’s Women 2019- 2020 — India registered 6% single parents during 2019 along, of which 4.5% (or around 13 million) are single mothers. The decision to live as a single parent is turning out to be great for most, mainly when it comes to bringing up the child in a happy home environment.
We know that being a single parent is complicated already and COVID has intensified the concern, especially with single parents working from home and most kids learning online. So the question arises, how can single parents strike a balance between parental responsibilities and professional life? The answer may be trickier for some, while others might have to struggle to manage their singleness effectively.
Moumita Roy Choudhary — a seasoned Social Researcher and Single Parenting consultant — understands the challenges a single parent has to go through. In her previous article — Single Mothers, the Magically Powered Unicorns of their Kids — she deep dived to reveal the state of Single Mothers in India. Moumita says “living a single parent life is quite challenging for newly converted working single parents, primarily in the initial stages. About first six months lone on job parents have to juggle between work and childcare, which most times advance to socially isolating phase.”
As a subject matter expert, she suggests a few guidelines that will enable working single parents to manage both facets of life efficiently and effectively. With some willpower and a bit of smart planning, being a single parent working from home will become more manageable during the present COVID era.
As a Starter Keep Your Expectations Low
The parenting learning curve for single parents managing work from home is shaky and steep. As you dig down into this unknown terrain, you cannot anticipate that every day will be more successful than the day passed. Therefore, to be a consistent performer, you need to lower the bar of your daily parenting actions. While attempting to work at full capacity — playing the role of learned teacher and a dedicated employee, besides trying to be a Parent of the Year — you are overloading yourself. Resultantly, failure to win over unrealistic expectations can severely harm the work performance and parenting ethics, while raising self- doubts in handling other imperative aspects of life.
Pro Tip: Moumita suggests lowering the expectation graph of daily parenting tasks is crucial. While some days might pass as per the set schedule, other days or even weeks may go haywire. Essentially, it is all about accepting that hitting all the goals might be impossible even after minimizing the expectations level.
Schedule the Day and Keep Rolling
Devising an easy to attain schedule for kids is the top deal for single parents working from home. However, creating sync between scheduling the day and keep rolling is a bit tricky, but winnable. The best part is a tight- knit schedule allows you to perform well with least distractions from work and childcare or parenting.
Here are some Quick Suggestions to plan and implement attainable schedules for working lone parents to take care of the office work and children during the COVID times.
o Child’s Virtual Schooling Schedule: Single parents, working from home, can mimic the regular school schedule that will be easier for children to manage their online learning sessions and keep them tuned with the usual sleep and study routine. However, there could be times when work conflicts or other tasks may restrict you to stick to the schedule. If you still manage to keep rolling, you have handled well on the children’s timetable.
Below is the illustration of how a Daily Time Schedule may look:
Pro Tip: Moumita tells planning short creative sessions with the children would help them be productive. You may guide them indulge in a hobby, developing reading habits, practicing a musical instrument, or even asking them helping you in light domestic tasks would fall in this category.
o Working from Home Professional Schedule: Now that you have set up the kids’ schedule, it is time to focus on your professional routine. The best way to fashion the schedule plans is to tune those with the working hours (if you have fixed office hours) and your children’s school timings. However, scheduling the work hours similar to the usual (or Pre COVID era) office hours shall typically be adequate. Freelancers, on the other hand, may choose to continue what works well with their parenting tasks. Their work plan might include working ahead and completing projects before the deadline to ensure an error- free deliverable.
However, to avoid distractions and children wavering from the set routine, you have to compel them to follow the daily schedule religiously. Make a point to tell the kids that you are unavailable when in the home office, — unless there is a dire emergency. You may also design a sign for the home office mentioning, “Office is On” or you may include the Work Hours just like the image below:
For any extra assistance in getting organized, you may try Remote Work Schedule templates, one like below:
For the free copy of this automated, interactive PDF chart, leave your email address in the comment section below.
Pro Tip: Moumita says drilling your home office’s “Work Hours” into the child’s head. You may even ask them when it is okay to knock on the door or enter the home office. By doing that, you are educating the kids about the importance of your job and giving time for uninterrupted concentration on your work. Alternatively, you might try turning these boundaries into a creative arts and crafts project, for the little ones, who cannot read. You may have the children make a removable traffic light, using Velcro, and let them understand when they can bother you and when to wait unless it is an emergency. This project will enhance their creativity and help you win some time to devise some educational materials for the kiddos.
Plan for a Quality Break
Even after setting the scheduled boundaries, kids still have the instinct to distract. So do not miss the time for recess. While restrictions during COVID- pandemic may not allow for a short trip to the local playground or a park, do not panic. You may still find plenty of options in your backyard, or you may even leverage any room within the home. Taking kids outside or letting them take a break from schooling plays a vital role in their development.
Various research studies reveal that recess has a direct link in enhancing the child’s cognitive skills while providing time to play, socialize, and think. Researches also state that children are more attentive and focused during recess time.
Pro Tip: As per Moumita, single parents working from home must include some recess time in the child’s Daily Time Schedule that will allow them to play with all the COVID restrictions while letting you watch them as you work. For instance, on a rainy day, you may spend time with kids playing indoor games, reading, or any other leisure activity. Just make sure there are No tablets, No phones, and No video games. Your children are already staring at the computer screen all day, so increased exposure to electronics may cause eye- strain and restrict them to unwind.
Seeking Other’s Help, Helps
Most lone parents working from home, strive to be a Super- Mom or Super- Dad while coping with their professional tasks, which is not possible always. At times, you might have to work stretching the office hours for a large, complicated project. Unsurprisingly, that may not gel well with your child’s Daily Time Schedule.
So do not hesitate to look for help. Seeking help from a friend or family member to take care of children is an inevitable part of parenting in the COVID era. Do not consider asking for assistance as a failure. Just appreciate and thank the person for looking after your kids.
Pro Tip: Moumita mentions that due to the COVID pandemic, taking help from friends or family members to watch the kids is not that easy as it once was. Therefore, while asking high- risk individuals to act as a temporary babysitter, you must ensure the COVID preventive guidelines concerning sanitization, social distancing, and masks are in place.
You are Equally Important
While balancing the work and child parenting tasks, lone parents working from home might forget to save leisure time for themself. However, if appropriately planned, even 15 minutes during the day can relieve most of the work stress. Indulge in something you like, take a break from everything, or simply choose an activity that helps you relax.
Pro Tip: For single parent remote workers, meditation is the key, as it has shown to reduce stress, ease out anxiety, improve emotional health, and even increase concentration span. Moumita strongly believes staying relaxed and calm is a crucial part of being a lone parent. Therefore, she recommends meditation during your break from life, while exercising, yoga, or even light weightlifting might also help revive your day.
Adapt “Lead by Example” Tactic
Unless you are already a remote employee, this may be the first time working from home for the long extended period. For lone parents, working remotely, the odd is that it is the same dilemma for their kids attending school virtually from home. Therefore, you must set an admirable example for the children. Only by working diligently, limiting distractions, adhering work schedules, and setting strict guidelines, you may see the children following your footsteps.
Love Your Kids, Yourself, and Glide Through the Professional Goals
The new COVID driven arrangement provided a chance for lone parents working from home to become closer to the children while meeting their career growth aspirations. However, while spending time with kids, make sure to stay away from phones or computers, shower your love and let them relish your presence. At the same time, you must take time for yourself and do activities, like meditation, to stay calm.
Future is Bright
As the worldwide count of COVID cases continues to propel, ambiguities are likely to stay long for the future of online schooling, remote working, and overall life as a lone parent. However, the likelihood of staying smart and productive for lone parents working from home is still feasible. The present global scenario might seem stressed, but in the post- COVID world, your caliber to return to a normal lifestyle and the ability to adapt to the “new normal” will be far smoother.
Moumita says to single working from home parents that you can successfully maneuver through all the responsibilities into the new bright future, only when you grasp that attaining perfection is not an overnight process.
